Fire Hazard

College Community School District had their annual visit from the fire marshall this week. At my building, Prairie Crest Elementary, the principal and head custodian have been making it very clear that they expect NO violations, and that we should follow the fire code even when the fire marshall is not expected to come. I was gone the day before he came, so did not receive the final reminders and admonitions. When the fire marshall and his 2 helpers walked in my room, I am sure I turned pale. My room was a disaster! There were piles of care bears, puppets, winter clothes, books, puzzles, and curricula all around the room (the piles were not MIXED, mind you - I do have a tiny bit of organization skills). There was probably no less than 50 various examples of children's art work hanging around the room - gifts from my students that MUST be displayed! My desk had several different piles of papers that I had not yet figured out how to file. OK, you probably get the picture. I was so embarrassed! I spent Saturday afternoon organizing and I feel better about it now, but it is too late as far as being written up as a fire hazard.

While I was at school organizing, Darrell spent the afternoon at Wartburg Seminary moving into his dorm room that he will live in during the week. It is better than a dorm room - actually it is more like a nice hotel room. We are both excited about the journey we are on. It is sometimes hard to let go and trust God for the outcome, but we are growing in that. It is a lot like what I am doing with the book "The Artist's Way", learning to relax, tap into the spiritual part of me, and let it out. Let God control the outcome. I know that God is creative (wow, that was an understatement - He is THE CREATOR); I know a tiny bit of his creative spark is inside of me. I will trust him to fan it into a flame if He wants to. Let the fire marshall write HIM up!

It's not a park

One day when Melanie and I wanted to take a walk together, she had told the girls that they were going to a park with Bam. We chose a wonderful walking path in Johnston behind Panera that winds through trees, beautiful grass and gardens, a horse pasture, and there are lovely picnic places with picnic tables and space to play. Sophie was mad that it was not her idea of a park - no swings or slides or anything - nothing to do but walk. I tried to reason with her that some parks are made up of all these things we are seeing, but do not have playgrounds. She just kept saying, "It's not a park". She would not be convinced - this was not a park in her world view. I let it go. Later, as we were buckling her back into the car seat in her mom's car and I was getting ready to go on my way, I hugged her and kissed her and lovingly said, "Goodbye my Little Sophie! Bam loves you SO much!" Her response? She would not even look at me. She lowered her head and voice and muttered..."it's not a park". I just had to laugh. I love her so much!

I always seem to have a spiritual struggle going on over something - usually it is me not measuring up in someway, but sometimes it is more philosophical - me trying to understand something a little (or a lot) over my head - things that just don't fit my worldview. Recently, I heard the phrase "growing edge" as a polite way to discuss one's weakness; I like that phrase. My growing edge is learning to become "a human being, instead of a human doing" (another phrase I learned a long time ago but can't seem to apply to my life). God is hitting me with this from all directions: the women's group I am in, the daily devotional I am using, the book called "The Artist's Way" that I am reading...ALL of them keep pointing me in this same direction of focusing my spirit on who I am instead of what I do. I DON'T GET IT! Even my husband is pushing me this direction - I say, "What do you want to do this weekend?" and he says, "Be with you." Sweet and romantic, right? It is frustrating! You can't answer a DO question with a BE answer! So I say, "Thanks, Love. I want to be with you, too. Now what do we do??" He says, "You do what you want. I just want to be with you." Grrr. God does the same thing. I ask, "What do you want me to do, God?" And he says, "Be with me." OK THEN WHAT?! What if I stop DOING and there is nothing there? I tried to hash this out in conversation with Darrell. He had some wonderful theology that still didn't make much sense and I ended the conversation with "It doesn't make sense." He laughed his loving laugh and said, "I can see Sophie saying, "It's not a park." Hmmmm.....that helps. I think I am starting to get it now....and it doesn't really matter if I get it or not, does it?