Ambivalence

Ambivalence is a very misused word. I hate to even use it because I don't know if people will understand its meaning. If I say I am ambilivalent about an issue, many people will think I don't really care about the issue; the opposite is true - it means I have strong feelings on both sides of the fence. Because I experience so much ambivalence (strong opposing feelings in the same brain)that I need to be able to use this word and be understood. So I decided I oughta have a my own personal word for it. So here it is: janbivalence. So if I say to someone that I feel janbivalent about it, they will have to say, "what does that mean?" and I can tell them how much I both love it and hate it, or really want to and really don't want to, or...well, you get the picture. There are very few things that I cannot see both sides of, and can feel strongly about either way. It actually helps me to be a good counselor, but it also makes life pretty tough on me sometimes. It's a blessing and curse...Oops, there I go again.

OK, so the word "janbivalent" is great because it does paint a good picture of my thought processes, but it also sounds ridiculously dorky. So could we all chip in and spread the word on what "ambivalent" really means so I can use the word confidently? Because there is no other word I know of that describes my plight, is there? Wow, I just put my head on the chopping block there, didn't I? Go ahead, have your fun now. Leave your witty comments. I can laugh at myself (and be crushed at the same time).