Fulfillment

Some facebook friends are looking for people "who are actually working the type of job they absolutely love, know they have been gifted to do, and feel a sense of fulfillment?" I really should be one of those people. I sought this career out, it uses my skills, I have a passion for it, it is very meaningful, and I even get paid pretty well. Some days I absolutely love it. But the last part of the question is what trips me up: ..."and feel a sense of fulfillment." I feel empty at the end of the day - I don't feel fulfilled at all, but I feel completely drained. I don't know the reason for this; maybe there are many reasons. It is a really hard job, in spite of the fact that some days I am playing games and coloring and playing with play-doh; these kiddos are little puzzles to solve because in an instant they can become little animals that bite and kick and run away. I am also working with educators who are beat up by society for doing a job that everyone loves to criticize but very few want to really help. I am also working with families under stress, many lacking in financial, mental, and spiritual resources. They do not appreciate my help - in fact, sometimes they turn on me and hate me and complain about me to the principal.

But maybe it is not about the job at all. Maybe jobs aren't supposed to provide a sense of fulfillment. In the mornings, I usually read a passage from Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest" - today's reading was about serving the Lord and not serving others. Maybe my focus has been too much on serving others - that is my job after all. But when you serve people, they are ungrateful. sometimes they don't want help - some people like to hang on to the very things that are making them miserable....some people like to hang on to the very things that are making them miserable...Wow, I was talking about other people in that sentence but it just screamed at ME! Am I hanging on to helping people with their problems and is that precisely what is making me miserable? What if I let go of that and just focused on serving God? Then it wouldn't matter how people reacted to it, would it? I am not switching jobs today, but I am going to try a switch of attitude. I am going to be present with each person that I encounter, but I am going to try and remember that I am not serving them - I am serving the Lord Jesus Christ. I know this is not a new concept - it is words I have heard many times, but it means something different to me now. For years, I have gotten through education by praying that God would help me see HIM in the face of each person. But that was so I could love that person like He does. Now, my prayer is different. I want to see God in each person, literally, so I can serve and love HIM like He wants me to! That is, after all, what I was made for.